This was originally posted on Facebook on June 2, 2019 and is reposted here by the author.
I’ve thought about a post like this many times and talked myself out of it because I don’t like talking about my personal life with anyone (I can count the times I’ve done it on one hand, with fingers left over) — what business is it who I love or am attracted to? And in the absence of a love to declare for a particular person, what’s the point?
The point is to be fully seen, to be transparent, and share an important part of who I am. The point is to fully “be”.
It’s #PrideMonth 🏳️🌈 and as good a time as any for me to publicly acknowledge that yes, I am attracted to women and, with far less certainty, maybe still men. I say this not to garner attention or judgment but to simply be.
- No, this doesn’t mean if someone is female I automatically am, or have been, attracted to them.
- No, I didn’t always know this about myself though I’ve come to know it over the years (and in retrospect, it was always there.)
- And NO, this is not “the reason I got divorced”…
The long, lingering end of my marriage served as a wake-up call, though, and freed me to re-evaluate who I was, who I am, and who I want and need to be. (I truly loved and lived those years, gave my all, and don’t regret a moment of it.)
If you read this and your takeaway is that I have been “hiding” who I am, I don’t really have words for you. This has been a gradual evolution and process of self-discovery, of discovering things for/about myself and growing comfortable with them, and I don’t owe anyone anything — none of us do.
I still have a long way to go—some of my heterosexual friends are far better at “gay” than I am (I haven’t “found my people” yet in that space, though I know I have the love and support of family and friends, or assume I do.)
I love you all. Always have, always will. I’m the same person, with the same passion for life, learning, and sharing.
For those of you who have listened, loved, inquired, and/or borne the brunt of my self-discovery — thank you.
- Addendum #1: I truly appreciated the overwhelmingly positive response I received. I won’t reshare the individual responses here, as they were shared on a private forum (Facebook), but every word means the world to me and I am grateful to all who responded, publicly and privately.
- Addendum #2: 100% lesbian here. No longer romantically/sexually attracted to the opposite sex, though I do appreciate beauty in them.
- Addendum #3: In January 2020, Amanda and I met and we fell in love. She is my person and I am hers.